Just A Little Honesty

So it’s finally that time. The point that I’ve been dreading since coming back to Oxford after Christmas. The point where everyone back home is finished with finals and I’m only halfway through my term here. The point that makes me wonder why I applied to Oxford in the first place.

Ok, let’s take it back a notch. Maybe I’m being too overdramatic. It’s not that I hate it here; I’ve really enjoyed my time abroad and it was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The problem is that when I look back on my time here, I would mostly remember my travels in Europe or my weekend trips to London, rather than my studies at Oxford. So can I really say that I studied for a year at Oxford? I mean, I knew what I was taking on when I first applied: the fact that my grades wouldn’t count can pretty much reduce down to not really “studying” at all… but I still expected to be challenged here.

It’s not to say I wasn’t. At first, I struggled with writing two 2000-word essays a week and trying to do all the reading on my reading lists like the overachiever that I am. But once I got the hang of it, it didn’t seem like a big deal anymore, especially when I slacked off for a few weeks and realized that my subpar essays still received praise from my tutors. So if I didn’t have to try so hard, why bother?

Sometimes I wonder if I wasted a year here, writing essays on topics I would never study again. After all, I’m not planning on going into research and does any undergraduate really need to go that in depth about how the initial, universal speech categories in infants become modified through language acquisition? Lately, I find myself repeatedly thinking, Ugh I wish my spring break wasn’t so long so that I could go home sooner. But then I think back on my European adventures. And more importantly, if I did not have that 6-week spring break, I wouldn’t have been able to visit my sister in Tokyo or see GD’s concert in Saitama.

So I know, I know, I can’t complain. I’ve had an amazing year across the pond, and I’ll have the Oxford credentials to show for it, even though I barely did any work. I’m halfway there with zero motivation to try any harder. Why should I when I get the same grades anyway? I’ll just suck it up and power through these last four weeks until I can finally go home and be reunited with my family and friends.

Everything you’ve ever known is a lie.

http://paulgraham.com/love.html

An inspiring essay that makes me wanna take back my last post. READ IT!

I wouldn’t say it completely changed my view of the “real world” beyond school, but it definitely lessened my pessimism. Thanks @tammysoo for the recommendation! <3

Now it’s time to check out and also time to ask yourself: “What’s my highest-performing investment of the year?” The answer is Chipotle.

Must use this as soon as I return to the States. ^_^

Can someone tell me what I should do with the rest of my life? Because I sure as hell don’t know.

It’s weird to think that the same girl who used to want to be a vet because she loved animals, or a lawyer because she wanted to fight crime, is now a girl whose dream job is to be a soccer mom. The truth is, I was never passionate enough about anything to really pursue it. I regret not majoring in comp sci or engineering, where the real money is. I know what you’re gonna say: “You should do something you enjoy, not just for the money.” But I can’t see myself doing any job just for the sake of it. I can envision myself at a tolerable, 9-5 job that pays reasonably and allows me to live luxuriously comfortably. Honestly, I’m versatile and accommodating enough to work at any job that can send my children to college.

What can I say? I’m just a very practical person.

1. Amsterdam
2. Paris
3. Barcelona
4. Madrid
5. Milan
6. Venice
7. Florence
8. Rome
9. Athens
10. Brussels

10 cities and 6 countries in 6 weeks. I AM READY! Eurotrip 2013 leggooooo~

One of the reasons I decided to study abroad at Oxford for a whole year was because I wanted a fresh start. I love my friends and family, my KDPhis and my Cornell classmates, but I guess I’m the type to get easily bored. And after two years of Cornell, I was bored. I wasn’t meeting anyone new, I was sick of Ithaca, and even Korean class was starting to lose its appeal to me.

So I decided to take the leap and start anew across the pond. It was scary at first - for once, I didn’t have my group of Stuy friends I could always retreat to - but exhilarating at the same time. I met tons of new people who made fun of my American accent and got to try rowing and even ice hockey. I was a completely different person.

But once things started winding down and the novelty started wearing off, I immediately reverted back to my old self. I stayed in on Friday nights watching my dramas instead of going out with people I (kind of) know. I cooked my own dinner instead of eating at the dining hall to avoid making small talk with that someone I met through someone else. It might sound lonely, but I was, strangely enough, content. Deep down I knew that, even though I wanted to make new friends, most of these people were people I would never talk to again once I go back home. We just didn’t have much in common or anything to talk about. They were, quite simply, Facebook friends - nothing more. And by the time Thanksgiving came around, I was dying to return home to see all my real friends again.

This term, I’ve been spending all my time with Heidi and Donna - and Heidi’s high school friends that I only recently met but I feel like we have so much more in common than I ever did with any of the people here - that I haven’t even noticed how absent I’ve been within my college. Every weekend, I’ve either been away or have a friend visiting. We have a college bop tomorrow night - much like a school dance, but 10x crazier because there’s alcohol involved - and when I decided not to go, I felt like I was officially separating myself from the other Teddies.

I go to Teddy Hall, but I don’t belong there. My closest friends are other visiting students at different colleges and my best friends from home. Frankly, I’m more than satisfied with that. When I’m traveling in the spring and gaining life experiences (the major reason I wanted to study abroad in the first place), I want to be doing it with the people I love most, the people I’m most comfortable with, not those mere Facebook friends of mine.

So, I tried being a completely different person. But the truth is, I don’t want to be different. I like being me, K-pop-loving, going-to-bed-early, super-organized me. And I wasn’t going to change just so I could make a few more friends. At least I could say I tried. I really did.

• Finished both my essays this week in 3 days
• Caught up on all my TV shows
• 4th week is almost over, which means I’ll be halfway done with term
• Chinese New Year this weekend = money + home-cooked Chinese food!

 The Changing of the Guard ceremony

Buckingham Palace was super crowded that morning, but we managed to get a pretty good spot. Maybe we arrived too late or something, but I had no idea where the iconic red guards with the tall black hats were. When these guys finished marching out, we were just like… is that it?

I told myself I would write more often to document my time here. So since my last (slightly depressing) post, I’m pleased to say that I’ve been having a lot more fun here.

Last Thursday, I got discounted tickets to see the ballet performance of Sleeping Beauty through the Cornell-Brown-Penn Centre in London. My friend Mary and I met up with Donna, Heidi, and Heidi’s high school friend to watch it together. It was my first time seeing a ballet and I have to say that it was pretty surprising. I had no idea how they would make Sleeping Beauty into a ballet but it was not at all what I expected when the storyline threw in a vampire bite that turned a boy into a fairy. I was already confused after the first act and it wasn’t until I left the theatre that I saw a poster for the ballet with the subtitle: A Gothic Romance. Oh that explains it… sort of.

After the ballet, we bought some cheap wine, cider, and ice cream before heading over to check out Heidi’s flat. Her room was pretty nice (and comes with her own bathroom!) and I got to meet one of her flatmates. Then, we pigged out in the shared kitchen while talking about the most random things and ended the night watching Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Heidi fell asleep right away but I at least made it to the middle before passing out as well. =P

The next day, we decided to get dim sum in Chinatown. According to the online reviews, the restaurant we picked was one of the few in Chinatown that still has the trolleys for dim sum. Most of the other restaurants give their menu and you tick off the dishes you want. I was pleasantly surprised at the variety of dim sum dishes that they had. Not only was there the typical shrimp cherng fun and chicken feet, but they had dan tat and even duck and cha siew! We were pretty full by the end, but being the fatties that we are, we still went to get bubble tea afterwards. There was this cute, HK-style cafe called Boba Jam and they had pudding milk tea and my favorite desserts!

Oh, I forgot to mention that the night before, we had dinner at this fancy restaurant before watching the ballet. Arbutus is apparently a must-try in every London guide book and I had to say that although it was pricey, the quality of the food was superb. I got to try some crispy pig’s head and lamb liver!

Then it was while we were getting bubble tea that Donna texted me. She was at orientation and just got free tickets to this club tonight in London. I was originally planning to bus it back to Oxford that night but spontaneously decided to stay another night instead. I mean, how often do you get to club in London for free?

So after some more sightseeing at Somerset House and Big Ben, we went over to check out Donna’s dorm. Her place is amazing! Her triple is a bit crowded, but she has her own bathroom with the nicest shower and her own kitchen stocked with everything you need! Instead of going out to eat, we bought some groceries and cooked our own dinner. Heidi’s friend Helen is such a good cook. We (or more accurately, just Helen) made garlic bread, pasta with pesto sauce, and salad. We even bought wine again and a toffee apple cheesecake for dessert, all for only £4.50 each (~$7).

Then a quick shower, a change of clothes that I borrowed from Donna (I didn’t bring anything with me because I didn’t expect to stay an extra night), and we were ready to go clubbing!

Unfortunately, the club was not that fun. The queue for coat check was massive so we just held onto our coats. The music lacked tempo, making it too slow to dance to. And this one guy from Brazil came up and made chinky eyes at us. Not impressed, and frankly, I was a bit annoyed at his ignorance of Asians living in America. Overall, it wasn’t the best night but at least I can say I’ve gone clubbing in London, for free!

The next day (Saturday), I knew I really had to go back. After a quick trip to Buckingham Palace to see the Changing of the Guard ceremony, Heidi, her other high school friend Theresa, and I grabbed lunch before they sent me off. I arrived back in Oxford later that day after a satisfying weekend. Although I ended up a little behind on my work, I was glad I stayed another night. Sometimes spontaneity works out better than plans after all. =)